Welcome to yet another edition of “Idiotic Facts You Didn’t Know You Needed”!
This time, we dive into one of history’s most bizarre military engagements: the Great Emu War of 1932. Yes, you read that right. Australia once went to war against…emus. And spoiler alert: the emus won.
The Rise of the Emu Menace
Picture this: It’s 1932, and the world is still reeling from the Great Depression. Australian farmers are struggling to protect their crops in the vast Outback. Enter the emus, a formidable foe with feathers. These flightless birds, approximately 20,000 strong, migrated from inland regions to the coast, trampling over everything in their path, including precious farmland.
Call to Arms
In desperation, the farmers turned to the government for help. And the government, perhaps not thinking things through entirely, decided the best solution was to deploy soldiers armed with machine guns. Because, naturally, that’s what you do when faced with a bird problem.
Battle Strategies and Epic Failures
Major G.P.W. Meredith of the Royal Australian Artillery led the charge. Armed with two Lewis machine guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition, he and his men set out to show those emus who was boss. The plan? Simple: drive the emus into an ambush and mow them down. Easy, right?
Well, not quite. The emus, proving themselves to be master tacticians, scattered at the first sound of gunfire. Instead of neatly lining up for target practice, they split into small groups, zigzagged across the plains, and generally made a mockery of the soldiers’ efforts.
In one particularly embarrassing encounter, the gun jammed after killing only a dozen birds. Another attempt saw the soldiers trying to mow down emus from a truck, which resulted in more comedy than casualties as the bumpy terrain made aiming impossible.
The Aftermath
After a few weeks of this avian guerrilla warfare, the soldiers admitted defeat. Despite firing thousands of rounds, they managed to kill only about 1,000 emus. The remaining 19,000 emus, emboldened by their victory, continued to wreak havoc on the farmlands.
In December 1932, the government withdrew the military and instead placed a bounty on emus. This strategy proved slightly more effective, though it lacked the dramatic flair of machine-gun warfare.
The Legacy
The Great Emu War remains a testament to human folly and the resilience of nature. It’s a story that reminds us that sometimes, just sometimes, the underdog—or underbird—comes out on top. So next time you’re feeling down, remember the emus. They faced a modern military and won. If they can do it, surely you can tackle your Monday.
Until next time, keep laughing at the absurdity of history and the idiotic facts that make it so entertaining!